Love Sings
by Stemwinder
Summary: Love Sings. Lee has to leave on a dangerous assignment while Amanda remains behind at the Agency. Fallout ensues.   Set post Season 4, and assumes that the so-called "Mystery Marriage" is still a secret to all involved.
1. Hands To Heaven

**Love Sings**

Disclaimers: I am not now nor have I ever been . . . an owner of Scarecrow and Mrs. King. They still belong to the brilliant people at Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Productions. I am playing around with them strictly for my entertainment; all I get from this is the smile on my face from a job well done. Anyway, suing me will do little good as I am perpetually broke anyway; you'll likely pay the lawyers more than is in my pockets to give. I also do not own the following:

**Hands to Heaven **written by David Glasper and Marcus Lillington of Breathe

**The Last Words You Said** written by Richard Marx and Janey Clewer, and sung by Sarah Brightman and Richard Marx.

**The Special Two **written and sung by Missy Higgins.

_**Lyrics offset by bold italics**_

Time line: Post season 4. Assumes marriage is still a secret to all outside parties.

Premise: Love Sings. Lee has to leave on a dangerous assignment while Amanda remains behind at the Agency. Fallout ensues.

Archive: Not without permission, please.

Feedback: Of course, all constructive criticism and high praise gratefully accepted. Flames? I got a bag of marshmallows ready, anyone got a stick? (Mmmm ... marshmallows ...)

Authors Notes: All three parts were originally written and posted to at least one forum in late 2002, with the exception being some major overhaul on part three. They were originally posted as three separate stories, and I've always thought of them as the "Hands To Heaven" trilogy. Although my original posts claimed they stood alone although the second two were sequels, while combing over them after rescuing them from the vault I realized they really do not stand alone ... thus my decision to post them as 'chapters' of the same story. However, each part retains it's own title as they were written. I hope you all enjoy these, as I definitely enjoyed working with them once more.

Excerpts in "Love Me Now, Forever" taken from the aired episodes "Remembrance Of things Past", "Stemwinder", :"Nightcrawler", and "The Man Who Died Twice"

* * *

><p><strong>Hands To Heaven<strong>

Written September 12, 2002

**Lee's Apartment, **

**Tuesday, October 6, **

**11:00 PM**

_**"As I watch you move, across the moonlit room, with so much tenderness in your loving . . ."**_

'_She's so accepting of this,'_ Lee Stetson thought as he finished packing his bag. He looked over at his beautiful wife, Amanda, standing on the other side of the bed from him. He would give anything not to make this journey, but he knew that for him, there was no choice. A presidential order was not something to be taken lightly, and they both knew it. _'I swear, one of these days I am going to get out of this business and be done with leaving her.'_ He snapped the bag shut and walked over to where she stood.

"How much time?" She whispered.

**_"Tomorrow I must leave, the dawn knows no reprieve. God give me strength when I am weary . . ."_**

"I have to be at the airport at 6 am," Lee answered. He reached out at the same time she did, and drew them into a powerful embrace.

"I wish you didn't have to go."

"I don't want to go either, Amanda. If I had a choice, I wouldn't go, you know that."

"Yes, I know. It doesn't make it any easier, though, does it?"

"No, it doesn't."

"Lee?"

"Hmmm?"

"How dangerous is it?"

Lee paused for a moment, wondering what answer he could give. Should he lie and tell her it wasn't, that it was a milk run, and spare her the worry? Or should he tell her the truth, and tell her just how dangerous it was, and that he might not make it back? Or, should he tell her something somewhere in the middle?

"Lee?"

He opted for the truth, in a well crafted veil. "Well, let's put it this way. I was very tempted to tell Billy about us in hopes that he might change his mind about sending me."

_**"So raise your hands to heaven and pray that we'll be back together someday . . ."**_

"In other words," Amanda continued his thought while pulling back to look into his eyes, "this is one of those missions that they send single men on because they don't feel like making widows."

Lee ducked his head, his Amanda knew him all too well. "Yes."

Amanda sighed and chucked her husband under the chin to bring his eyes back to hers. "Well, then, we have about six hours before you have to leave. Why don't we make the most of them?"

"You read my mind," Lee whispered as he lowered his lips to claim hers.

**"_Tonight I need your sweet caress, hold me in the darkness. Tonight you caught my breathlessness, you relieve my sadness."_**

* * *

><p><strong>"<em>As we move to embrace, the tears fall down your face. I whisper words of love so softly . . ."<em>**

Lee held Amanda tightly after their love was spent, neither wanting to fall asleep, lest the dawn come too soon.

"Just promise me one thing," Amanda's whisper broke the silence between them.

"Anything," Lee answered, repositioning himself to face her. His heart broke as he saw the single tear that had escaped her eye.

"I want you to be careful."

Lee smiled crookedly, knowing what she was really asking. He brushed the tear that had now made it's way to her cheek. "Always. How could I not be? I have so much to come back to now, Amanda."

Amanda smiled her own tiny smile. "I love you."

"And I love you."

**"_I can't believe this pain, it's driving me insane. Without your touch life will be lonely . . ."_**

The night, of course, is a fickle monster, and started to wind itself out all too fast. Neither would fall asleep, but held each other close.

'_I swear, when I get back, we are going to talk about finally ending all this secrecy,' _Lee thought as the moonlight enveloped them._ 'I know this is hard on her, and it's hell on me to have to keep leaving like this. Maybe it really is time to retire after all, take that desk job Billy was talking about. There might still be traveling, but nothing like this!'_

**"_So raise your hands to heaven and pray that we'll be back together someday . . ."_**

* * *

><p><strong>Lee's Apartment<strong>

**Wednesday, October 7**

**5 AM**

**"_Morning must come another day. I must pack my bags and say goodbye . . . goodbye . . ."_**

"It's time," Lee whispered, wishing more than anything that he didn't have to break the spell that had wound itself around them that night.

"I know," Amanda whispered back, holding to him tighter. "Ill drive you."

"Amanda, I don't want to have to worry about you falling asleep on your way home, and I know you didn't sleep any more than I did last night."

"Lee, I'll be fine. I just want to spend as much time with you as I can before you have to go."

Lee knew that she knew that he knew that he really did want her there until the last moment when there was no choice but to let go. He reached out his hand to hers, and waited a moment for her own to join in, before he breathed the acceptance that was coming. "Okay."

* * *

><p><strong>A Hotel room in an undisclosed location<strong>

**Wednesday, October 7,**

**9 PM Local Time**

**"_Tonight I need your sweet caress hold me in the darkness. Tonight you caught my breathlessness you relieve my sadness."_**

The previous night floated through his mind as he prepared for bed that night. How he wished he wasn't under contact Zero!

He turned on the bedside radio, hoping to find something that would soothe him to sleep. A song he had never heard before floated over the airwaves, and immediately, he thought of the night before. Sometime during the song, Lee Stetson fell asleep, dreaming of the night he had recently shared with his wife.

**"_Tonight I need your sweet caress hold me in the darkness. Tonight you caught my breathlessness you relieve my sadness."_**


	2. Love Me Now, Forever

**Flashbacks indicated by a centered ~ SMK ~ and Bold Print. Lyrics are in _Bold Italics_ and are centered to avoid confusion.  
><strong>

Written October 7, 2002

* * *

><p><em><strong>Love Me Now, Forever<strong>_

**Prologue: The Last Words You Said**

**Lee's Apartment**

**Thursday, October 29, 11 PM**

_**"I can barely stand this aching, burning endlessly. "Love me now forever," **_

_**Were the last words you said to me ..."**_

She had stalked the room without fail every night for the last week now. Ever since that morning three weeks ago when she dropped him off at the airport, she'd barely slept. The news they'd received but a week ago had been devastating, and she hadn't been to work since. Her mother, her boys, no one could break through the wall of silence surrounding her. Why had it happened like it had? He'd promised he'd be careful.

**~ SMK ~ **

**"Just promise me one thing," her whisper broke the silence between them.**

**"Anything," he answered, repositioning himself to face her. His heart broke as he saw the single tear that had escaped her eye.**

**"I want you to be careful."**

**He smiled crookedly, knowing what she was really asking. He brushed the tear that had now made its way to her cheek. "Always. How could I not be? I have so much to come back to now."**

**~ SMK ~ **

Her mind went back to that morning against her wishes . . . she didn't want to remember what it had felt like to say goodbye!

**~ SMK ~ **

**One final embrace as the last call came over the loudspeaker for his plane, and she whispered in his ear, "I love you."**

**"I love you, too. Love me now, forever?"**

**She looked into the hazel eyes, eyes as familiar to her as her own, and smiled. He would know she would.**

**~ SMK ~**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter One: I Still Hear You Whispering ...<br>**

**IFF Bullpen**

**Wednesday, October 21, 2 PM**

_**"Somewhere in time I know, Darling you'll come back to me. Roses will bloom again, but Spring feels like eternity . . ."**_

Amanda King and Francine Desmond strolled into the bullpen, happy that they'd managed to crack the case they'd been assigned to together in Lee's absence.

"I can't believe you actually went up to that dockworker like that, Amanda!" Francine joked.

"Well, we had to, or we never would have found out that D'Andrews was involved after all."

"I hate to admit it, but you were right, Amanda. He was the last person I would have suspected, but you knew all along that there was something fishy about him."

"Well, it was just a guess. Something about him just wasn't right, that's all."

Francine shook her head at Amanda's show of humility, glad only that she'd finally made the other woman smile.

Not that Amanda hadn't smiled in the last two weeks since Lee took that assignment, but the times she did smile, it would never quite reach her eyes. Now, her eyes showed her pride and happiness at the compliment she'd just received.

"Amanda," Billy Melrose's voice broke through the din.

Amanda spun around to face Billy, who was standing by his office door. The look on his face was enough to make her almost run to the office.

Once inside, Billy closed and locked the door, and pulled the shades. He didn't want any witnesses to what he knew was to come when he imparted his news.

"Sir?" Amanda finally asked once Billy finished his task.

_**"In your kiss it wasn't goodbye. You are still the reason why . . ."**_

"Amanda, I know you and Lee have grown . . . close in the past years, closer than either of you have let on."

Amanda stared at Billy, unsure if she was supposed to answer him or not.

Billy went on, "Amanda, there is no easy way to say this, but I knew you had to be the first one to know when I found out . . . There's been an . . . accident."

Brown eyes searched darker ones before Amanda sucked in a deep breath. "Lee?"

Billy's eyes closed as he sat down next to Amanda on the couch. "I'm sorry, Amanda. I never wanted it to come to that."

"He's . . ." she couldn't say the words. _'Please, just tell me he's only hurt, that he'll be alright! He was going to be careful, he promised me!'_

"They found him last night . . . you know I can't tell you much more than that, Amanda."

_'I can't cry. I can't cry here. Not here, not now. Out. I need to get out.'_ She thought of the discussion they'd had shortly before they had decided to keep their marriage a secret.

**~ SMK ~ **

**"That could be you one day, talking to strangers about your dead husband trying to unravel the truth about his death knowing you'll never find it."**

**"I know."**

**"Not your typical two career family huh? One of us might not come home for dinner. Ever. They've got Kai's little boy Amanda. That could be Philip or Jamie."**

**"I know."**

**~ SMK ~ **

_Dead husband. Dead. DEAD._ The words rang in Amanda's mind as she sat there and the tears she didn't want to fall made their way down her face.

* * *

><p><strong>Lee's Apartment<strong>

**Wednesday, October 21**

**Evening**

_**"I can hear you whispering in the silence of my room, my heart still surrenders like the sun to the moon . . ."**_

_He was here._

_He was dead._

_And nothing made sense anymore._

After Billy had asked for what seemed the millionth time if she would be okay, and finally allowed her to leave the Agency, she had come straight here. To the place where many of her memories of her husband were. Where she could sit in peace and quiet and look at the few pictures of them as a couple, as a true couple.

Where she could be free of prying eyes wondering how she was holding up after the loss of her partner.

_Her partner._

_No one knew the half of what she was feeling._

Oh, Billy had a good idea that there was more between them than business and friendship, and she had admitted to Francine at one point that she was in love with Lee, but no one knew the full extent of their relationship. Not even her family. She couldn't tell her sons she was grieving for their stepfather because they didn't know that Lee had been that to them. They knew she loved Lee. Hopefully, that would be enough for them to understand.

As Amanda King, Agent, she could grieve for her partner. As Amanda King, mother and daughter, she could grieve for her boyfriend. But what about Amanda Stetson? How could she grieve when no one knew of her existence?

Long hours would pass before the phone finally rang out through the apartment, breaking her reverie. She heard the greeting on the answering machine, and her heart broke all over again. For it was his voice. And then that horrible beep cutting him off and allowing another voice to fill her consciousness.

"Hello, Lee, this is Dotty. I had thought that when Amanda didn't make it here in time for dinner that maybe you'd gotten home early and she was with you, but I suppose you're not back yet. I called IFF and they said she left early, maybe I'm panicking for nothing, but, I'm sorry, there I go rambling again, if you haven't come back yet just ignore this, then. Goodbye."

_**"I can barely stand this aching, burning endlessly. "Love me now forever,"**_

_**Were the last words you said to me . . ."**_

Amanda blinked back fresh tears. She hadn't even thought of calling her mother and assuring her that she was okay . . . well, as okay as she could be under the circumstances, and she didn't even think she could pick up the phone and dial. The clock on the mantle accused her as she read the hands . . . midnight. Had it really only been ten hours since she'd found out that Lee was . . .

_'No! He can't be. I'd have died too, wouldn't I?'_

It was a fitful Amanda who finally fell into restless sleep several hours later, curled up on the bed she had shared with her husband.

* * *

><p><strong>Lee's Apartment<strong>

**Thursday, October 22, 8 am**

_**"And when the morning comes, my hands still reach out for you. Some things remain the same . . ."**_

Deep in her subconscious she smelled the coffee brewing, and reached over for Lee. Somehow she knew it was their bed she was in, but all she felt as she reached was an endless expanse of open bed. Finally she opened her eyes, and the reality hit her anew. He was gone. He wasn't coming back this time.

But why did she smell coffee?

She pulled herself out of the bed and cautiously made her way to the kitchen, where she found Francine Desmond pouring out two cups of coffee.

"Francine, what are you doing here? You scared me half to death."

"I could ask you the same thing Amanda King, or should I call you Amanda Stetson?" Francine asked as she carried the two cups over to the table. "You could have at least told me, but I suppose I can understand why you didn't."

"How did you ..." Amanda trailed off, leaving the question unfinished.

"How did I know? You left the evidence right on the coffee table, Amanda. I didn't know until after I got here this morning. I suspected you were here when your mother called IFF this morning frantic because you hadn't come home last night and you hadn't called. I knew that you were in love with him, but until I saw that piece of paper on the desk, I hadn't imagined it was mutual. I think I understand now why you burst out of the bullpen so quickly yesterday. Does Billy know?"

"No, we . . . we never told anyone, not even my family. They knew we were dating, but they never . . . we didn't think it was safe."

Francine nodded. "I had originally come here only to see that you were still in one piece, to ease my conscious for assuring your mother you'd been in the editing room all night, and that the phone was out in there. By the way, I also told her you'd call her when you get a free moment."

"Thank you, Francine."

"You're welcome. Although now, we're going to get you cleaned up, and we're going to sit down and talk. And don't try to even tell me you don't have a change of clothes here, I know better."

After Amanda's shower, the two women sat on the couch as Amanda told Francine about the relationship between her and Lee, about the months of married life, the interruptions they'd faced. About California. When Amanda told Francine how the honeymoon turned out, Francine actually shed a tear of her own at the unfairness of it all.

"The two of you have been through so much, and without telling anyone. I should have known, Amanda. I should have known during the Nightcrawler incident that there was more on Lee's part as well as your own. I'd known you had feelings for him, certainly, but . . ."

"We didn't think it was safe to tell anyone, Francine, not you, not Billy, for fear that our partnership would be broken up, and for our family's sake. Granted, I've made enemies of my own, but Lee was so adamant about protecting them, so worried that one of his enemies would use our family against us."

"Lee always was noble when it came to things like that," Francine remarked. "What are you going to tell your mother and the boys?"

"I don't know. I'll have to tell them that Lee is gone, I know that. But I don't know how I'm going to do it. I'm so afraid that I'm going to break down while I'm telling them, and that they won't totally understand. How can I tell them that we were married now, after he's . . . how do I explain that I lied to them about that without telling them about the Agency? And if I tell them that, how can I ever expect them to forgive me for lying to them for the past four and a half years? If you were in their shoes, would you forgive me?"

"I don't know if I can answer that, Amanda. I'm not them. I can tell you what happened when I told my parents what I did for a living. They didn't speak to me for nearly a year."

"Oh Francine, that's horrible!"

"Well, I expected nothing less from my father. There were some good things that came from it. My mom and I are closer now than we were . . . before. But Amanda, your boys are not my parents. You are the one that taught me that no matter how similar the situation, there is always something that makes it brand new, and that there is always a different angle to look from."

* * *

><p><strong>King House<strong>

**Thursday, October 22, **

**5 PM**

_**"There is nothing I can do. I can barely get through the day ever since you went away . . ."**_

"Amanda, is that you?" Dotty West called from the kitchen the second she heard the front door open.

"Yes, Mother," Amanda called out, more quietly than she had ever done.

Dotty ran from the kitchen at the strained sound of her daughter's voice. One look at the red face was all she needed to pull the younger woman into her arms. "Don't try to deny it, what's wrong?"

"Oh Mother," Amanda sighed, still trying to hold back her tears. "Where are the boys?"

"Playing basketball with Kenny McCraven, why?"

"Can we sit down, please?"

Not wanting to deny her daughter anything at that moment, Dotty followed Amanda into the family room. "Amanda, are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine Mother, it's just that . . ." Amanda took a deep breath, wondering how in the world she could continue when it felt every word was stabbing her in the chest. "Mother, something happened on the shoot Lee went on . . . there was an . . . an accident, and . . ." and she couldn't say it.

"Is Lee okay?" Dotty paused, and the silence in the room was truly deafening. "Amanda?"

"He's . . . he's . . . he's . . . I can't do this!" Amanda bolted from the couch and straight to her room, leaving Dotty sitting dumbfounded and alone in the living room.

_**"I can hear you whispering in the silence of my room, my heart still surrenders like the sun to the moon . . ."**_

The rare times he had been in this room with her all came flooding back to her. Yes, the first time he had told her he loved her may have been on the phone, but the first time he had said it to her face had been right in this very bedroom. That memory was as much a part of her as the memories that his apartment held.

**~ SMK ~**

**"Amanda, I meant what I said on the phone. I just want you know that before I go . . . I love you. I have for a very, very long time. I just . . . I was just never ready to . . . you know . . ."  
><strong>

**"I know."**

**Dotty's voice called from downstairs, "I'm coming. Amanda, I think those federal agents are here!"**

**"Now they're going to be up here in a minute."**

**"Now wait a minute. You can't just walk into my life, hand me a package, tell me to give it to the man in the red hat, tell me that you love me and walk out of my life again!"**

**Lee shook his head no as he leaned his head down and touched his lips to hers.**

**"Look, I'll get word to you."**

**"I'm going with you," Amanda countered.**

**"No!'**

**"Yes!"**

**"No!"**

**"Yes!"**

**"No!"**

**"Yes!"**

**"Forget it! I'm going to a place so deep that you might lose your name, your way, everything. Now Alexi thought he had me today."**

**"I know."**

**"He won't miss twice."**

**"I know."**

**"Hell, I don't even know what he looks like anymore, I can't baby you out there!"**

**"You won't have to baby me. Look, I'm gonna watch your tail just like I always do. We work best together as a team and besides that we don't know what Alexi is going to do next, it might be dangerous for my family for me to stay here and I can't do anything to help them from an agency holding cell!" Amanda paused, looking deep into Lee's eyes and softening her voice as she finally said the words she'd been waiting for three years to voice, "And I love you too."**

**Lee's whole demeanor softened and he smiled, the largest smile that Amanda had ever seen on his face up to that point as she admitted her feelings for him. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he answered her. "I guess it's your tail too."**

**~ SMK ~**

She lay down on the bed as more memories assailed her, and stayed there the rest of the evening, trying to comfort herself with her memories and ignoring the incessant knocking at her bedroom door.

_**"I can barely stand this aching, burning endlessly. "Love me now forever,"**_

_**Were your last words to me ..."**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Two: And the truth shall set you free<strong>

**Lee's Apartment**

**Friday, October 30, 3 PM**

_**"Heaven help us cross this endless sea, with starlight above to guide you to me . . ."**_

"Amanda, I know you're in there, please don't make me pick the lock," Billy's voice rang through the door between knocks.

Amanda shook her head to herself, knowing that if Billy wanted to, he would be in within a second anyway. She dragged herself off the couch and opened the door. "How did you know I was here, Sir?"

"Amanda, you and Lee may have thought you were fooling a lot of people, but even Lee knew you weren't fooling me. I hoped and prayed that he would tell me the truth about your relationship so that I wouldn't have to send him on that assignment. That presidential order wouldn't have come to him if I could have told the president that the two of you were married."

"Sir?"

"Amanda, I've known since February," Billy replied softly.

"Oh," Amanda said quietly.

"And I'm still very angry at him for not confiding in me, at both of you for not confiding in me. I'm angry at myself for not confronting the both of you earlier. If I had, maybe Lee would not have gone. You were the best thing that ever happened to him, Amanda. I still tell myself that putting the two of you together was the best decision I ever made as Section Chief. I never expected it to end like this. If I could go back right now to that last night Lee was here, I would confront him about your marriage.

**~ SMK ~**

**"How dangerous is it?" Amanda paused, waiting for Lee to answer. "Lee?"**

**"Well, let's put it this way. I was very tempted to tell Billy about us in hopes that he might change his mind about sending me."**

**"In other words," Amanda continued his thought while pulling back to look into his eyes, "this is one of those missions that they send single men on because they don't feel like making widows."**

**Lee ducked his head, "Yes."**

**Amanda sighed. She knew him all too well . . . **

**~ SMK ~**

_'Damn it, Lee, why didn't you tell him?'_ Amanda thought in a rage as she stood up from the couch and went to look out the window. The Corvette was still parked on the street, and for a moment, Amanda allowed herself to believe that he was on his way up the stairs at this very moment, coming to her.

But he wasn't, and she couldn't allow herself these fantasies any more. The only purpose they were serving was to tear her up even further. She turned back to Billy, and finally asked the question that she had been dreading to ask for the past week. "You told me they found him . . . when are they bringing his . . . him back?"

"Monday morning," Billy answered simply, not pushing on Amanda's refusal to say his body. She still had demons to fight, and he knew that. Hopefully now that she knew that he knew just what demons she was fighting, she would stop hiding from him. "They'll be flying into Andrews at 9 AM . . . as his partner, your presence is required . . . the colonel will be there to identify him and claim the remains. Amanda, I don't think that I have to tell you that as his wife, you can . . ."

"I know I can, but I can't, sir. The colonel didn't know, and neither did our . . . my family. I couldn't explain that to them."

"I'm sure the colonel will be understanding to your position as his partner and friend and allow you to help with the details, that is, if you feel comfortable with that. So that you'll know where he is."

Amanda couldn't respond to that. To respond to that would to be to finally admit that he was gone, something that she had been having trouble facing, but that she knew she would have to face on Monday when his . . . when he arrived at Andrews. That would be soon enough to accept the truth, but for now, she couldn't face it fully. Maybe if she didn't say it, he would come off that transport and sweep her up into his arms and tell her it was all a terrible mistake.

_**"Waves crashing on distant shores, they're calling our names forever more . . ."**_

* * *

><p><strong>Lee's Apartment<strong>

**Monday, November 2, 2 AM**

_**"And I still hear you whispering in the silence of my room . . ."**_

She couldn't sleep. No matter how much she wanted to slide into oblivion, she couldn't. While part of her was still in denial, she knew that in seven hours she would be faced with the truth.

Her mother had called her at least a dozen times the night before, wondering how she was doing. As far as Dotty and the boys knew, she was helping close up Lee's apartment for his uncle, who wouldn't be arriving until sometime that week. And it was easier for her to get to work from there, of course. Dotty had been trying to give Amanda some space to grieve over the past week. And in the meantime, had been trying to help the boys through their emotions over the loss of their friend.

The truth, though, as much as Amanda didn't want to admit it, was that Lee wasn't coming back. No matter that she could still hear his voice whispering to her in the darkness, that she could still picture his face as clearly as if he had just stepped out of the room a moment before, or that she could still remember how it felt to be wrapped in his arms. She imagined his arms wrapped around her once again, promising herself it would be the last time she would allow herself to play this dangerous game.

_"Amanda," he would whisper._

**~ SMK ~**

**"Amanda?"  
><strong>

**"Yeah?"  
><strong>

**"It is me. It's really me."  
><strong>

**"That's not . . ."  
><strong>

**"Yeah come on feel it see it's me."**

**"It is you. It's you. You're here? Hello!"**

**~ SMK ~**

"Amanda? It is me, it's really me . . ."

"That's not possible," Amanda whispered to the apparition before her, knowing that she couldn't be that lucky twice. He was gone, and she had to deal with that.

He held her face as he had the day when he proposed to her, seeing in her eyes all the horror she had gone through. He'd known what his faking his death would do to her, and he knew that she was to go to Andrews to pick 'him' up tomorrow morning. He'd hoped and prayed that he could wrap up the case before it came to that, but he'd thought it was the only way to bring out the traitor and be believed. He'd finally contacted Billy earlier that night and let him in on the farce, and Billy had ordered him to go to Amanda as soon as he gave the word, and that everything would be taken care of. Lee knew the second he saw her he couldn't allow her to go through another minute of agony. He'd stood in the shadows, knowing she was lost in a hallucination, just as she had believed herself to be hallucinating when Addi Birol shoved him into the room where she'd been kept. He couldn't stand watching her anymore without touching her and letting her know he was alright.

"Amanda, c'mon, feel it, feel me, see? It is me, it's really me."

Amanda's eyes opened to their fullest as she not only heard his voice in her head, but in her ears.

_**"My heart still surrenders like the sun to the moon . . ."**_

"It really is me, Amanda."

"You're here?"

"Yes, I'm here."

**~ SMK ~**

**"You're alive? You're alive and standing right here in my family room? Oh you are! You are! Oh I'm so angry with you!"**

**"What? For being alive?"**

**"No, for whatever it is you're pulling, whatever . . . secret mission it is that causes this kind of deceit."**

**~ SMK ~**

"You're alive?"

The hurt in her eyes stabbed at Lee's heart as he remembered the last time she'd said those words to him.

"You're alive and you're standing right here in front of me?"

He braced himself for the anger to follow. And then there it was.

"Damn it, Lee! How could you do that to me?"

His eyes closed as her words hit home. "I didn't want to; God knows I didn't want to. I wanted to tell you, but if I did . . . not only would I not be here having this discussion with you right now, but you likely wouldn't be, either."

The anger was erased from her face the moment he said that, and she ran over to him and wrapped her arms around him.

"Billy told me you were dead."

"Billy didn't know, Amanda. No one knew," Lee responded to her unspoken question as he stroked her hair with his left hand. "Amanda, I am so sorry for this past week. If there had been another way, believe me, I would have taken it, but there wasn't. They had to believe I was dead."

"Oh Lee," Amanda sighed before pressing her lips to his, needing to feel that he was really there and not a figment of her imagination.

"I'm really here, Amanda, and I swear that there is no way that I'm leaving you again," Lee whispered as he led her to the couch and drew her down to his lap when he sat. "Amanda, I don't want to lie to anyone anymore. I want to come clean, about us."

Amanda chuckled softly as she realized he didn't know yet that the secret had started to come out already. "Lee, Billy and Francine know that we're married."

"You told them?"

"Not exactly," Amanda replied. "Billy has known since February."

"I should have known that he knew. I suspected he knew more than he was letting on."

"And Francine, well, the day after Billy told me that you were . . . she came looking for me, and found me here. I was . . . Lee, I couldn't bear the thought that I would never see you again. I'd spent the night staring at pictures and our marriage certificate, and had left it on the table, and Francine saw it that morning."

Lee ducked his head into the hollow of her neck as he drew her closer and held on to her with all of his might. "I swear, Amanda, that you will never have to go through that again."

"You can't promise that, Lee, you know that."

"Yes, I can, if I leave the Agency."

Amanda sat straight up, pulling partially out of Lee's embrace so she could look at his face. "Are you serious?"

"Yes, I am. Billy offered me a promotion a few months ago . . . with the State Department Bureau of Intelligence and Research. Management level."

"When did you start thinking about this? Lee, I know how much you love field work, you'd never be happy behind a desk."

"Amanda, after what just happened . . . I'd rather be behind a desk knowing that I would make it home to you at night than out in the field, worrying that if I make one wrong move that you would have to go through this horror again."

"And you would be miserable."

"A few years ago, maybe even a few months ago, yes, I would have agreed with you. I can't do this again, Amanda. I can't keep taking these chances. If I do, one of these days I'm going to wind up coming back to you in a pine box. I want to take the desk job. I want to come home to you at a normal hour. I don't want to always be looking over our shoulders, worrying that one of my enemies is going to pop up and hurt you or the boys or Dotty. I want to be able to spend every night with you without having to sneak around to do it. I want us to be a family."

A single tear ran down her face as everything he said sunk in to her. "And how does my position at the Agency figure in here, Lee?"

"Amanda, if you want to leave the Agency that is completely up to you. I can't make that choice for you any more than you can make it for me. I know that you love the work as much as I did. And you're good at it, no, you're great at it. I would worry about you all the time, knowing you're out there without me."

"That's just it, Lee, I don't know if I want to be there without you. But I don't know if I'm ready to give it up yet, either. Do we have to decide this tonight?"

"No, we don't, but I don't want to leave this for very long. I don't want to spend another night without you by my side, Amanda."

Amanda smiled as he said that. "I feel the same way," she mumbled as she rested her body against his.

_**"I can barely stand this aching, burning endlessly. 'Love me now forever,'**_

_**were the last words you said to me . . ."**_


	3. The Special Two

(Author's Note: This story was originally written - and posted on at least one forum - under the title "Even Angels Fall". Much of the original still remains, but there are some changes since that original posting.)

Originally written October 29-30, 2002. New portions added in July 2011.

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far. I hope you enjoy the rest of the tale ... although I never did feel like this lived up to the other two :-/

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><p><em><strong>The Special Two<strong>_

**Chapter One: Love Me Now, Forever**

**Lee's Apartment**

**Monday, November 2, 7 AM**

_**I've hardly been outside my room in days,**__**'cause I don't feel that I deserve the sunshine's rays.**_

_'The ache is well worth it,'_ Lee Stetson thought as he shifted his position on the couch, careful not to disturb the woman sleeping in his arms.

Three hellish weeks, and now he was finally back home, where he belonged, with his Amanda. He knew the idyll would end soon, though. They still had a lot to talk about.

"So how long have you been awake watching me?" He heard Amanda mumble the question.

"How did you know I was awake?"

"You moved," Amanda replied as she adjusted her own position so she could face her husband.

Lee chuckled at his wife's response. "I was trying not to wake you."

"You didn't. I've been awake for a while now," Amanda grinned wickedly.

"Ahhh, so I wasn't the only one?"

"No. Besides, I know just as well as you do that we still have plenty to talk about."

Lee shook his head, even now it sometimes amazed him just how much he and Amanda were on the same page. "Yes. Like how we are going to explain to Dotty and the boys how one minute I'm dead and the next I'm standing in the family room. How we're going to explain that without telling them about our jobs."

"That, among other things," Amanda replied. "What we're going to do about our jobs is another big decision. I know you've likely made up your mind, you said as much last night, but are you positive that leaving the field is really what you want?"

_**And it was then I realized the conscience never fades.**_

_**When you're young you have this image of your life:**_

_**That you'll be scrupulous and one day even make a wife . . .**_

"I'm positive," Lee answered, as he stood up and started pacing. "I've had time to think about it, plenty of time. I don't want to take the chance of being sent away from you like this again, and married or not, if I stick with fieldwork, the likelihood of me getting sent away without you is still there, you know that."

"Yes, I know."

"And . . . Amanda, the thrill of my job used to be what kept me going, but now . . . I have so much more to lose than my life. I can't deal with that anymore."

"And what if I decided I wanted to continue? Are you sure you would be able to live with me out there in the field without you?"

Lee stopped his pacing and sat on the coffee table in front of where Amanda still sat on the couch. His voice was gentle as he brushed his hand along the side of her face. "I told you last night, that it had to be your decision, not mine, and no matter what, I would stand behind that decision. You . . . you're the best agent I've ever had the pleasure of working with. I don't know if I've ever told you that. But you're also so much more than that. You're the woman who holds my heart in her hands. If you're worried that I would even so much of think of leaving you because you decided to stay in the field without me, then let me put that fear to rest. For me to do that would be to rip my own heart out. That's not to say I wouldn't worry about you day and night, because you know I would." He watched Amanda's face brighten as he finished his speech, and they spent a moment in silence with gazes locked together before Lee took a breath and continued, "Have you decided to stay in, then?"

"I don't know, Lee. I like the job, you know that, and I do like to think I have a knack for it, but . . . I don't know if I want to do it without you. It's been a rare occasion that I haven't worked in the field without you."

"From what little Billy told me last night, you and Francine did excellent together while I was gone."

"Please, don't even try to start pairing me up with Francine. It took me four and a half years to break you in, I can only imagine how long it will take to get used to Francine. Besides, while it was . . . interesting working with Francine, we don't have the same . . . rapport that you and I have when we're in the field. I know what you're going to do without you saying anything, and vice versa. Francine operates by a completely different rule book."

Lee had to laugh at Amanda's analogy. "I think that over the years, I've broken every rule in the Agency rule book. Amanda, I never had with another agent the synchronicity I have with you."

Amanda grinned as well, "Well, I'm glad for that. Otherwise someone else might have caught you before I did."

"I do believe you are flirting with me, Mrs. Stetson." He watched as Amanda closed her eyes for a moment and leaned her head forward so that their foreheads were touching. He'd seen the flicker of sorrow cross her face for just an instant as he said those last two words.

"I thought I'd never hear anyone call me that ever again," Amanda whispered sadly.

"I know," Lee almost choked on the words. "We could talk to Billy about it, and maybe you don't have to decide about the job right away, Amanda. I certainly took my time deciding to leave the field."

"Thank you," Amanda whispered. Louder, she continued, "Maybe if I just give it a try and see how it goes, I can make a better decision than what I can make right now."

"There is, however, something that we do have to decide, and soon," Lee said, taking Amanda's hands in his own as he sat down on the couch next to her. "How do we tell our family that I'm not, in fact, dead?"

Amanda let out a sigh, "You know, I think I fear this more than making a decision about the Agency. I've told them so many lies in the past four years, Lee."

"I don't want either of us to lie to them any more either. Amanda, I think we both know that there is no way to tell them I am alive without telling them about the Agency. Everything about the Agency."

"And once we've managed to clear the minefield of me lying to them for the past four and a half years, there is another minefield waiting for us."

"Telling them the truth about us," Lee finished her sentence. "I meant it when I said last night that I wanted us to be a family."

"I know you did, Lee, but there is more to it than just coming out and telling them the truth."

"Believe me, I know that. Jamie was only just getting used to me being a part of your lives, and I know the second he finds out that we lied to him, everything that I've tried to build with him will be broken. And Phillip . . ."

"Will probably think that you being a government agent is the coolest thing in the world," Amanda finished, hoping to put his fears to rest.

"I wish I was as sure as you are about that," Lee mumbled. "And then there's Dotty . . ."

Amanda grimaced, and Lee thought it looked for a moment as if she wanted to side-step that thought, before she replied optimistically, "Well, hopefully she'll be so thrilled that you're still alive she'll overlook the fact that we've been lying to her for all this time." When Lee shot her a disbelieving look, she shrugged her shoulders. "I know better."

"The question is, Amanda, how do we handle this and cause the least amount of damage to them?"

Amanda was trying to formulate an answer when there was a knock on the door. Lee's instincts immediately went into overdrive.

"Stay here," he whispered as he headed for the door and cautiously peered through the peephole. With a sigh of relief, he opened the door to Billy Melrose and Francine Desmond.

_**And you make boundaries you'd never dream to cross, and if you happen to you wake completely lost.**_

_**But I will fight for you, be sure that I will fight until we're the special two once again.**_

"Oh my!" Francine exclaimed, and then Lee found himself with an arm full of a beautiful buxom blonde who was not his wife. As he glanced over Francine's shoulder at Amanda, he saw her smirk as Francine continued, "Billy told me that there was something important we needed to take care of here, but I never imagined . . ." Francine cut herself off as she regained her composure and turned away from Lee and toward Amanda. "Did you know the whole time?"

"No," Amanda answered the blonde as the Francine and Billy entered the living room of the apartment, "I was just as shocked last night when he came home as you are to see him here this morning."

"Doesn't matter anyway, I'm just happy to have you back, Scarecrow. But don't you EVER pull another stunt like that again!"

"You won't have to worry about that, Francine," Lee responded quietly, glancing towards Amanda. Then he turned toward Billy. "We need to talk, Billy."

"I figured as much," Billy said amicably. "I'm sure by now that Amanda has filled you in on some things, and you shouldn't worry, I already had a talk with the old man, and he isn't going to split up your partnership."

"That wasn't quite the talk I had in mind," Lee muttered, waving the trio toward the couch and chairs. Francine and Billy both took up residence in the two chairs, and Lee and Amanda took the couch, hand in hand.

"Billy, not that long ago you were trying to talk me into management. Well, I've thought about it, and Amanda and I have discussed it during the past few hours, and . . . if the offer from SDBIR is still open, I want to take it."

Billy's jaw dropped. "Of all the things I thought of that you could possibly say, that was the last thing on my mind."

"It came as a bit of a shock to me as well, Sir," Amanda added.

"How long have you been thinking of this, Lee?" Billy asked.

"Since you asked me about it," Lee answered. "At first, I scoffed at the thought of myself behind a desk, but in the past few months, a lot has changed in my life. I'd certainly toyed with the idea enough since Amanda and I were . . ." Lee paused, the old hesitancy still there, "married. This last assignment made me realize just how much I have to lose being in the field. In the past week, as I've worked my way back here, and the past two days watching what Amanda was going through thinking I was . . . it just doesn't hold the appeal it used to, Billy."

"I just don't want to see you jumping into a decision too hastily," Billy paused and nodded before looking toward Amanda. "The question now is, am I losing both of you?"

"That has yet to be decided, Sir," Amanda replied.

"There is another question in my mind," Francine interrupted. "Amanda, you told me that the two of you had not told your family about your marriage."

"We were in the middle of that conversation when you arrived," Lee answered before Amanda had the chance. "Any suggestions either of you may have on how we deal with this would be greatly appreciated."

"We both realize that telling them Lee is still alive is going to open the whole can of worms," Amanda added. "We can't tell them about him being alive without explaining why I thought he was dead in the first place. And we can't tell them about the marriage without explaining why is was necessary to keep it a secret."

"And we both agree that it is time to come clean about the marriage. After what just happened . . ." Lee continued

"Neither of us wants to go through the goodbyes at the end of the night anymore," Amanda finished.

**But I was comfortable and warm inside my shell,**

**And couldn't see this place would soon become my hell.**

"I don't know how you managed that for this long. I know that when I married Jeannie, I wanted to shout it from the rooftops, so that everyone would hear that I had married the most wonderful woman . . . I can't even begin to imagine what the two of you have been going through the past nine months. I don't think there will be an easy answer. I have to agree though, I think that the time of keeping the truth from your family has past. I wish I could tell you how to handle it. I can't. I never let my family know, outside of Jeannie, exactly what it was I do. We never were blessed with children, so that wasn't an issue." He paused, and looked Lee in the eye. "The only thing I can say, having met Dotty West, is tread carefully."

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><p><strong>Chapter Two: Raise Your Hands To Heaven<strong>

**King House**

**Monday, November 2, 6 PM**

_**I remember someone old once said to me:**_

_**"That lies will lock you up with truth the only key."**_

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Lee asked as they pulled up to the house in the Wagoneer that evening.

"As ready as I'm going to be," Amanda replied as she reached out and grasped his hand in hers. "The sooner we get this over with, the less time we have to wait for the nuclear fallout to clear. And the sooner the fallout clears, the sooner we can get on with our lives."

"Are you sure you want to go in there alone at first?"

"Positive. I don't think it will do anyone any good if you just walk in there while Mother is standing at the stove and she faints at the sight of you. Do you?"

"No, that would_ not_ be a good thing," Lee relented.

"I'll be out in a moment to get you, okay?"

"I'll be waiting, Mrs. Stetson," Lee smiled as he leaned in to capture her lips.

"I hope that's a promise, Mr. Stetson," Amanda whispered once they'd separated.

"It is. Go on before I kidnap you."

Amanda slung herself out of the Wagoneer and headed into the house. The scent of a pot roast assailed her nostrils as she closed the foyer door behind her and called out, "Mother?"

"In the kitchen, Amanda!" Dotty called out. Amanda followed her nose and found her mother standing behind the stove.

"Where are Phillip and Jamie?" Amanda questioned.

"Upstairs pretending to do homework, but most likely they're playing video games. How are you feeling, dear?"

"I'm fine. Actually, if you could call the boys down and meet me in the den, there's something I need to discuss with you."

Dotty looked at her daughter for a split second before a rapid-fire question left her lips. "Amanda, are you pregnant?"

Amanda's eyes widened as she tried not to laugh at Dotty's assumption. "Mother, what on earth would make you ask such a thing?"

"Amanda, it is certainly no secret that you and . . ." Dotty broke off, as though she were afraid to say Lee's name.

It hit Amanda once again how wrong it was to hide in her own little world this past week. Her mother may not have known that Lee was her son-in-law, but Amanda knew all too well that Dotty had already picked Lee out for that role, and that in her heart, it was the same as if it already was. "Mother, it's alright to say it."

Dotty drew in a breath before continuing, "It's no secret that you and Lee were intimate. Besides, the only time you answer a question with a question is when you are trying to avoid the answer, so I would say my question is quite valid."

"Mother, I assure you, I'm not pregnant. Now, could you get the boys and meet me in the den? I'll be right back in."

"Where are you going?"

"Out to the car to get something I forgot to bring in," Amanda answered, opening the front door. She heard Dotty call for the boys as she closed the door, and heard them thumping down the steps as a pair of strong arms enveloped her.

"I couldn't sit in the car," Lee whispered in her ear. "Of course, I suppose I'm not the only one with that proclivity?"

"Only when I have to watch your tail," Amanda joked as she turned around and returned the hug. "Ready for phase two?"

"Yeah, are they in the den?"

"I heard the boys coming down the stairs a moment ago, they should be."

"Then let's go and face the firing squad," Lee sighed, hoping this would turn out better than he thought it would. He took her hand, and she led them into the house.

_**So is it better to tell and hurt or lie to save their face?**_

_**Well I guess the answer is don't do it in the first place.**_

Amanda entered the den first while Lee waited in the hallway.

"Okay, we're here Amanda, are you going to tell us what's going on?" Dotty asked.

"Yes, Mother," Amanda answered as she looked over the three people who were sitting calmly waiting for what she had to say. "Mother, fellas, I know the past few weeks have not been easy around here, and I wanted to apologize for that."

"Mom, we understand that Lee's . . . well, that it's been tough on you since he . . ." Jamie trailed off as though he were trying to skip around the one word he feared most.

"Yeah, Mom," Phillip added. "I know we haven't been exactly easy to deal with either. We miss him too."

Amanda smiled a half smile even as her hands twisted the bottom of her sweater, and hoped that they would remember they said that in a minute when Lee showed himself. "I know you do, Phillip. And you too, Jamie. And I want you both," she paused, and glanced at her mother before amending her words, "I want all three of you to know that I love you all, very much. I need you to know that anything I've ever said or done, in the past or . . . in the near future, I never, ever meant to hurt you. You see, there's something I have to tell you, and I know that once I start, you are all going to have a lot of questions and . . ."

Dotty raised a hand and cut Amanda off in mid-sentence, "Amanda, dear, what are you talking about?"

"Maybe I should just jump right into it," Amanda paused and took a deep breath before calling out, "You can come in now." She turned her head to the doorway and watched Lee step into the room, giving him a look that she desperately hoped would bolster both their courage for the fallout that was about to come.

"Lee!" Phillip and Jamie both jumped up and ran to embrace the man they had thought gone from their lives forever.

At the same moment, Dotty cried out, "_Oh my gosh_! Lee!" Turning away from the three men, she faced Amanda. "How? When? Why?"

"Mom told us you were dead!" Phillip shouted.

"We thought we'd never see you again!" Jamie concurred.

"How did you wind up here?"

"Lee, what happened?"

"Why did Mom think you were dead?"

"Fellas!" Amanda finally shouted out above the din, silencing the game of twenty questions the boys seemed determined to wage with Lee.

"Why don't you both sit down, and then your mother and I will answer all of your questions," Lee finally said.

The boys reluctantly relinquished their hold on Lee and sat back down on the couch. Lee took the chair next to the one that Amanda had sat down in.

Amanda took Lee's hand in hers as she turned to face him. "Would you like to start, or should I?"

"I'll start, if it's alright," Lee answered. Amanda nodded her assent as Lee turned to their audience. "I know all three of you have a lot of questions for both your mother and I. We'll try to answer them all as best we can."

"Yeah, like how come Mom told us you were dead when you're . . . you're here?" Phillip asked.

"Because your mom, and everyone else, thought I was dead," Lee answered somberly. "I think maybe it would be best if I started at the beginning."

And he did. He watched as their faces changed once he told them about meeting Harry V. Thornton and joining the Agency, and his early days in the Oz network.

"So you don't work for a film company," Dotty said quietly as he finished the part about Oz.

"No, Dotty. IFF is a cover for the Agency," Lee answered.

_**I know I'm not deserving of your trust from you right now**_

Amanda picked up the story. "In October of 83, while I was seeing Dean, one morning he asked me to take him to the train station. He had to leave early, and I was running late, so I rushed out of here in my nightgown. I saw Dean off, and was walking back to the car when I was stopped by a waiter who wanted me to do something for him. He told me that it was a matter of life and death. He handed me a package and told me to get on the train, and hand it to the man in the red hat. The only problem was, there were twenty five men in red hats on that train."

"What did you do?" Phillip asked.

"What could I do? I didn't know which man was the man I was looking for, so I brought the package home. Turned out the waiter worked for the government," Amanda smiled wryly, and glanced at Lee.

"Mom, does that mean that you're . . ." Phillip trailed off.

"Of course it does," Jamie answered. "It doesn't take a genius to figure out what Lee does, and even less to figure out that Mom is as well."

"Jamie?" Amanda questioned.

"Mom, I've known for sure for almost two years now."

"You've . . . you've known?" Amanda sputtered. "How?"

"Mom, come on," Jamie responded, "do you think I would forget that day in the gym when Lee saved us? Or the time when you were in that play and there were gunshots backstage? Lee was there on stage right next to you. Or when . . . when you went away when they thought you were giving away secrets? We saw you and Lee jumping from the trellis. Or the time you told Grandma you were a spy?"

Amanda blushed. She should have known someone would figure it out. Then she latched on to the last part. "You heard me telling your grandmother?"

"Mom, we were only in the next room. Besides, Grandma kept going on about it."

"You were telling me the truth?" Dotty broke in. "You were telling me the truth, and I didn't believe you? There really was a bomb?"

"Yes, Mother, there really was a bomb," Amanda admitted.

"And I didn't believe you," Dotty went on, still in shock. "You were trying to tell me the truth and I didn't believe you," she raised her head finally to look at Amanda. "You must have been so angry that I didn't believe you."

"No, Mother, I wasn't angry," Amanda replied softly. "In a way, I was relieved because I knew you wouldn't worry so much. I'm just a little . . . surprised that anyone knew." Amanda turned back to Jamie. "Why didn't you ever say anything about it to me?"

"I thought that if you weren't telling us, there had to be a good reason," Jamie admitted and shrugged his shoulders. "And then, well, you weren't around a whole lot for a while there. And then Lee started coming around without sneaking over, so I figured it was only a matter of time before you told us."

"You knew Lee was . . ." Amanda trailed off, and shared a look at Lee, who nodded at her before she continued. "You knew Lee was coming around here back then?"

"Mom, it wasn't that hard to miss the Vette down the street all the time, and I knew it didn't belong to a neighbor." Jamie shrugged again. "I didn't know who it belonged to then, not until the first time he came by and introduced himself. I think that's when I knew for sure."

Amanda shook her head, amazed at her youngest son's observances.

"So," Phillip piped up, "Lee is a spy, and so is Mom, and everyone thought Lee was dead but he really isn't . . . I don't suppose you would tell us what happened?"

"I'm afraid I can't go into detail, Phillip," Lee answered. "A lot of what happened while I was away is classified."

"I figured as much," Phillip muttered. "You said you had a lot to tell us. Is this it? About your jobs?"

Amanda and Lee stole a glance, and both took a deep breath. "Actually, there is something else we want to talk to you about," Amanda finally said.

"Is this the part where you tell us that you two are married?" Phillip blurted out.

"Married?" Dotty and Jamie both nearly shouted in unison.

Amanda's eyes went wide, while Lee's closed tight. It took a moment for either of them to speak, but when they did, they both stuttered out at the same time, "You . . . you knew?" As Amanda looked between her mother and younger son, she saw pure shock on the face of one, and a not well masked look of disappointment on the other.

Silence reigned for a moment before Dotty finally found her voice, "How? When? And _why _didn't you tell us?"

Amanda felt Lee squeeze her hand, as though he were trying to give her his strength. "Let's start with the first two questions. We have been married since February, when we went to a justice of the peace in Marion County. We originally planned to tell you all before the wedding," she trailed off, and looked at Lee.

"So why didn't you?" Jamie asked, and Amanda could hear the hurt pouring out of his voice.

Amanda saw Lee glance at his free hand, and she returned the squeeze he had given her only a moment before.

"Shortly after I asked your mother to marry me, not too long after I started coming around here, one of my contacts had a . . . his son was kidnapped and held hostage, to keep him from talking to me. I was scared that it could happen to the two of you. So I convinced your mother not to tell you."

"But then why tell us now?" Jamie asked.

"Because some things needed to change." Lee responded. "After this last assignment . . . I've been thinking about it a lot, but what just happened was more or less the straw that broke the camel's back."

"Lee was offered a promotion a few months back with the State Department, and he's decided he wants to take it," Amanda explained.

"So you're not going to be a spy anymore?" Jamie asked.

"I never really cared for that word, but no, I'm not going to be a spy anymore," Lee replied.

"Well, if Lee's not going to be a spy anymore . . . what about you, Mom?" Phillip asked.

Amanda squirmed slightly as she tried to figure a way to word her response. "I haven't made a decision yet. I've been with the Agency for five years now, and it's only in the past year that I finally made Agent status."

"Your mom put in a lot of hard work to get where she is now," Lee continued, "And it's hard to give that up so easily."

"Admittedly, one of the things that made me even think about becoming an agent was the chance to work with Lee. I went from being a civilian auxiliary to being an unofficial partner to being his full fledged partner quicker than most do. And I honestly don't know how I'm going to react to being in the field without him, but I know that I have to at least try it."

"But Mom, if he's your partner . . ." Jamie paused, "who are you going to work with when he's not there anymore?"

"I'm sure that I'll be given another partner," Amanda smiled. "Lee wouldn't leave the Agency without seeing to it that whoever it is; it will be someone he trusts."

"You know me too well," Lee grumbled good-naturedly.

"So when is Lee moving in?" Phillip asked.

Amanda and Lee stole another glance.

It was Amanda who finally broke the silence, "That was one thing we hadn't thought to discuss when we started talking about what would happen today. You're all alright with everything we just told you?"

"I'm still a bit in shock, Amanda, I won't deny that," Dotty rambled, "but a man's place is with his family, and we are definitely Lee's family."

"Yeah, Mom. I mean," Jamie paused as though he were giving careful thought to his next words, "I wish you would have told us about the wedding," he paused once again to glare at his brother, "and I'm not gonna lie and tell you it doesn't hurt. But you always taught us that we gotta forgive sometime. When I figured out what you guys did, I was real mad at Lee 'cause I figured you were only doing it 'cause you were dating him. But as I got to know him better, I got over it. And if he loves you, well . . . that's good enough for me to know that I'll get over this too."

Amanda leaped up and hugged her youngest son, and smiled over his shoulder where no one could see when he didn't protest.

_**But if by chance you change your mind you know I will not let you down**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Three: Coming Home<strong>

**King House**

**Thursday, November 26, 2 PM**

_**But nothing cures the hurt you, you bring on by yourself,**_

_**Just remembering, just remembering how we were...**_

It had been nearly a month since Lee had moved in. The month had not been without it's rocky moments by any stretch of the imagination. Dotty had been very quiet around Amanda for nearly three weeks as she nursed the wounds she carried around inside of her. Jamie and Phillip had to adjust to having a man in the house for the first time, as both had been too young to really remember much about their parent's marriage. When they had told Joe about the marriage, he had been unbelievably supportive, and had taken each boy in turn and listened to them while they tried to work through their lingering feelings on the lies they'd been told over the years. Phillip, while he thought Lee's job was cool, had harbored a resentment that his mother was now involved in something dangerous, particularly while Lee was getting out of the field.

But on this day, Thanksgiving, everyone had agreed to put aside any hurt feelings and simply celebrate being a family. There were scents coming from the kitchen that were enticing everyone in the West-King-Stetson house that afternoon as everyone gave thanks for their second chances.

"You know, Amanda, I don't think we've ever made this big of a Thanksgiving dinner," Dotty remarked as she helped her daughter in the kitchen.

"That's because we've never had this many people over for Thanksgiving, Mother. Although, I'm just glad that you and Mr. Melrose have buried the bad feelings between the two of you."

"Well, after all this time, it's about time that I really get to meet some of the people you work with!"

Amanda smiled as she peeked into the family room and listened to the arguments over the football game on TV. Lee and the boys had taken up the couch, and Billy and Jeannie Melrose were on the love seat. The Colonel had flown in at Amanda's request to spend their first Thanksgiving as part of the family.

"There is no possible way, Skip," the Colonel exclaimed, "That the Vikings are going to beat the Cowboys."

"That's where you're wrong, Sir. Trust me; the Vikings have it in the bag."

"Lee, seriously! The Vikings? There's still plenty of time for Dallas to get in the game," Phillip jumped in.

"Dallas is going to cream Minnesota!" Jamie chimed in.

"I'm telling you, Dallas is going down," Lee persisted.

"Yeah, suuuuure," Phillip added.

"Billy, surely you're with me on this one?"

"Lee, I know next to nothing about football. I'm going to have to side with the majority," Billy lamented.

"I need another opinion. Everyone here is biased."

_**I step outside my mind's eye's for a minute.**_

_**And I look over me like a doctor looking for disease,**_

As Amanda tuned the football argument out, and turned back to her mother, she heard Dotty was still rambling. "Lillian will be down any minute to tell me how to prepare my gravy, just you watch. And didn't you say you had invited someone else?"

"I did, I'm sure she'll be here any moment now," Amanda answered, and the doorbell's chiming proved her right.

"I've got it," Lee called from the living room.

"I really think, Amanda, that he's the best thing that ever happened to you," Dotty remarked.

"Yeah, he is pretty special, isn't he?"

"You should look and see what the cat dragged in!" Lee whispered as he wrapped his arms around Amanda's waist from behind.

Amanda half-turned in Lee's arms so she could face their guests. "Francine, Jonathan. Happy Thanksgiving!"

"This is a sight I never thought I would have seen. In fact, I think I put big money on it that it could never happen," Francine joked. "Of course, it is better than the alternative."

"Dotty!" Lillian called as she entered the already crowded kitchen. "You're not using sweetbreads in that gravy are you?"

"Aunt Lillian," Amanda interrupted before her mother could reply, "I'd like you to meet some friends of mine. This is Francine Desmond and Jonathan Stone."

"Pleasure to meet you," Lillian said without missing a beat. "Just call me Aunt Lillian, everyone does."

"Nice to meet you too, Mrs . . ." Francine trailed off at the glare on Lillian's face, and amended her words, "Aunt Lillian."

"Really Dotty!" Lillian continued, turning and trying to take over Dotty's place at the counter. "I've never seen anyone use that in gravy!"

Jonathan and Lee left the ladies and joined the crowd in the living room.

"Jonathan, who do you think is better? The Vikings or the Cowboys?"

"Vikings have it in the bag," Jonathan answered.

"Thank you!" Lee cried out as the boys and the Colonel re-started the previous discussion.

"Men and football," Jeannie remarked as she entered the already full kitchen. "You're sure there's nothing I can do to help, Amanda?"

"Jeannie, you are our guest," Amanda replied. "Mother and I have it well under control."

"I'm glad someone does," Francine admitted. "I haven't turned on my oven since 1983. Too many bad memories."

Dotty glanced at Amanda, "Is this one of those . . . what did you and Lee call them?"

"Need to know, Mother. Need to know."

Dotty turned from Amanda as they both saw Lillian grabbing things from the spice rack, "Lillian, when I come over to your house, I don't try to tell you how to cook!" Dotty argued.

"But you won't let me in my own kitchen, either, Dotty," Lillian reciprocated.

"What a hustle bustle little family," Francine remarked as Lillian retreated in the direction of the den.

"Happens every holiday, Francine. It will pass by dinner time."

"Look at it this way, Francine, it could be worse," Jeannie smiled ruefully as she pointed towards the family room. "We could be in there with them"

Shouting emitted from the other room.

"I've never seen Nelson run like that!" Jonathan yelled as he and Lee traded high-fives, and the boys booed the screen.

"Sounds like the Vikings just scored," Amanda smiled.

* * *

><p><strong>10 PM<strong>

_**And we could only see each other, we'd bleed together,**_

_**These arms would not be taught to need another,**_

_**'Cause we're the special two.**_

"I can't believe you got the boys to clear the table so easily," Amanda commented, "without even a word!"

"Well, it was easy," Lee admitted as he kissed the tip of Amanda's nose. "We made a little wager."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, they bet that the Cowboys had it, and Jonathan and I bet Vikings. Losers had to do dishes," Lee laughed.

Amanda chuckled. "I should have known. So, Mr. Stetson, did you enjoy your first real family Thanksgiving?"

"Yes, Mrs. Stetson, I did enjoy it very much. Although . . ."

"Although what?"

"Until today, I had thought Christmases were hectic around here," Lee whispered near Amanda's ear.

"Oh, if you thought today was anything, Buster, just wait until Christmas!" Amanda replied. "Although, let's just try to avoid the nest of killers this year."

_**But I will fight for you, be sure that**_

_**I will fight until we're the special two once again.**_

_**And we will only need each other, we'll breathe together,**_

_**Our hands will not be taught to hold another's,**_

_**When we're the special two.**_

_**Finit  
><strong>_


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